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About Myself
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About Essen
But real talk—it’s sketchy, man! I got mad once ‘cause some dude tried rippin’ me off, actin’ all “Oh, she’s premium!” Premium my butt, she looked like SpongeBob after a fry shift! I yelled, “Gimme my starfish dollars back!”—total chaos, like when the whale trashes that town in the movie. “The beast awakens!” I shouted, and he just ran, ha!
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Wanna know a secret spot? Check out the hidden gem off Lindengasse. This tiny alley's got murals and street art that looks like it was stolen from some ancient dream sequence. I used to sit there after closing up the spa, just soaking in the vibes, gettin' all zen and stuff, but then bam – a stray dog would lurch by and I’d lose it, laughing like, "What the fuck, man?"
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