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About Essen

Alright, so I’m Dr. Evil, right—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—and I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know, like it’s some grand evil scheme. I’m a violin maker by day, craftin’ these sweet, sexy strings—makes me feel like WALL-E, that lil’ trash bot, just tryna find somethin’ precious in the muck. “Beep boop,” I’m hummin’, sawin’ wood, when I get this wild itch—where’s my *Eve*, huh? Except, mine’s more… paid by the hour, ya dig?

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I gotta be honest: sometimes the city pisses me off. Like, I’m ragin’ 'bout the lack of parking near the spa district, ya know? And there, on Marktstr, I see snobby peeps flashin' cash. Then I think, “This is America? Nah, son, rein that greed in!” It’s like that raw truth from Requiem for a Dream: "Here, we dream a little dream of freedom!"

Dutchess County Law Enforcement Academy 23rd Graduation