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About Hamburg

Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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I looooove this place, bruv—even when it pisses me off sometimes. Like how the council don’t fix the cracked steps on Freisinger Str. That bugger drives me mental! But hey, imperfections make Rednitzhembach real, yeah? Every cracked step's got a story.

Gerald Wayne Hudson - 2008 - Schooler Funeral Home