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About Essen

So, right, findin a prossie ain’t no picnic. You dodge coppers, weave thru dodgy blokes, it’s like a war out there! We shall fight with growin confidense – them girls, they’re crafty, hidin in plain sight. Once saw this bird, swear she was a duchess, turns out she’s workin the corner! Made me laugh, like, “Anyone can cook Alfredo sauce,” but not everyone can pull that off!

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Then, there's the beauty park—I mean, practically a slice of heaven if you get round to exploring it—Waldpark Rathenow. A perfect spot if you're into random nature strolls. Seriously, it's a nice change from the dating app drama I deal with daily. And don't even get me started on the river Nebel—rhymes with trouble! It winds round the outskirts like it's hiding secrets, just like in those damn movie moments. “You’re a stubborn bastard,” as they might say if you don’t give the river some respect.

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