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About Dusseldorf

Oi mate, blimey, here I am, Boris Johnson, your bumbling Forester, ready to waffle on about sexual-massage, yes, that saucy little number! Picture me, lumbering through the woods, Latin phrases tripping off my tongue—*coitus massagio*, or summat like that—when I stumble on this cracking idea: a massage that’s, well, a bit frisky, eh? Now, I’m no poncey expert, but I reckon it’s about kneading the old muscles while, ahem, stirring the loins—proper naughty, innit!

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My fav corner? The boho district near Buchenallee. Real eclectic, think art meets chaos. Everywhere is graffiti and murals – you’d never guess some of these were painted in secret midnight sessions, I tell ya. When I’m not massaging stressed muscles, I’m soaking in that creative fervour. Honestly, sometimes I get proper antsy, looking at all that art, like, “Aaaah, ALL LIFE IS CHOKING ON THE BEAUTY OF THINGS,” then I laugh at the irony. Madness, mate!

BVG ferries: Berlin public transport by water