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About Hamburg

We swears! Ya gotta know the spots. Them red-light corners? Overrated, mate. Too loud, too fake—cops buzzin like flies. Real deal hides quiet-like, back alleys, dim bars. Heard this tale once—bloke found a lass through a butcher shop! Swear it, some pimp ran girls outta the freezer. Meat hooks and heels, wild shit. Made me laugh, picturin that—prossie poppin outta pork chops.

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Sometimes, when I’m in a mood, I flail around clumsily (kinda like Mr. Bean, y'know?) and mumble nonsense. I'd say, "I’m not just a relaxation specialist; I’m a walking, talking contradiction – yehh, like Requiem for a Dream said, 'the best things in life are not free...'" even if I never fully get what it means. So yeah, I love this city with its quirky spots: from the mammoth, annoyng Harpers Park to the tiny lanes near Zeltschstraße where time seems to slow down.