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Precious, oh precious! Me, Gollum, loves talkin’ bout sex escorts, yesss! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it—too busy eatin’! So, escorts, right? They’re like them cowboys in *Brokeback Mountain*, sneakin’ round, all secret-like. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” one says—hah! Escorts prolly say that to their cash, not lovers! Me thinks it’s wild—sellin’ love, or somethin’ close, for a quick buck. Gets me all twitchy and mad—why’s it gotta be so hush-hush?
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Oi, mate, buckle up – I'm off on a ramble about this quirky gem, Preussisch-Oldendorf, and trust me, it's a bonkers blend of beauty and utter mediocrity, all at once. First off, the city's a mixed bag – you've got the ultra neat Hauptstraße, where the locals strut like they own the place (rubbish, really) and near that there's the odd little café on Am Flusspark. Yeah, the park is as green as anything you fancy, with the funny river – I forget its name, err, maybe "Rieck" – just drifting by like it’s not got a care in the world, kinda like me on a Monday.
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