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About Hamburg

Findin a prozzie ain’t just point and shoot – nah, it’s an art. Back in ‘67, they say ol’ London had these secret brothels – posh as hell, hidden behind tea shops. Blew my mind when I heard that! Imagine sippin Earl Grey, then bam – “You’re a stone fox,” like Margot Tenenbaum, but with a price tag. Got me all giddy thinkin bout the slyness of it.

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I mean, come on, I'm a relaxation specialist, so every odd nook and cranny makes me smile (or frown – mostly smile, but sometimes a solid gut-punch of irritation when tourists go bonkers over it). Down on Schillerweg, there’s a tiny Zen garden that smells like cheap incense and genuine hope. Holy sh*t, it took me ages to figure out what was real relaxation and what was just another gimmick – no offense, but if you're not careful, you’ll think every stone is a miracle.

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