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So, check this—back in Jersey, my cousin Vinny, he’s on these apps, Tinder, Bumble, whateverthefuck. Meets this broad, hot as hell, legs for days. They hook up, no names even—just animal shit. Next day, he’s at the deli, she’s behind the counter slicin prosciutto! Didn’t even clock her. "Do I know you?" he says, like in the movie. She winks, hands him extra gabagool. Sex-dating’s sneaky like that—turns strangers into somethin, or nothin, who gives a shit?

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Around the Flussufer, near the sleepy river called BlauBach, I had one epic day. I was footloose outside my parlor when I met a punk on a bike. He said “You think you're funny?" (like straight outta the movie) and laughed. Daaamn, I nearly lost my cool, haha, but then I reminded meself: "I'll be back!" Always ready, always strong.

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