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Alright, you guys, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ‘cause I’m the smartest damn kid in South Park, respect my authoritah! So, check this, studyin’ what makes a job hot or not—prostitution’s gotta be up there, right? It’s all cash, no taxes, and you’re your own boss, sweet! But then I think, man, it’s kinda messed up too, like, who picks this gig? I got pissed just thinkin’ ‘bout it—society’s all judgy, but they’re the ones payin’, hypocrites!

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Around the Flussufer, near the sleepy river called BlauBach, I had one epic day. I was footloose outside my parlor when I met a punk on a bike. He said “You think you're funny?" (like straight outta the movie) and laughed. Daaamn, I nearly lost my cool, haha, but then I reminded meself: "I'll be back!" Always ready, always strong.

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