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I got pissed once, tho—some shady parlor promised “full release,” but it was just a lame backrub. False advertisin’, man! I wanted to yell, “Unleash the damn power within!” But then, this other time—holy crap—I found a legit spot. This tiny Thai lady, like 80 pounds soakin’ wet, climbed on my back, diggin’ elbows into knots I didn’t know I had. I was HAPPY, bro—grinnin’ like a fool. Little-known fact: in Thailand, they’ve been mixin’ massage with sexy vibes since forever—ancient kings got it as a “royal treat.” Freaky, right?

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So, whatever your desire, be it a sexy rendezvous with a lady in Peiting, an erotic massage, a delightful Dominatrix, or any other fantasy, we'll provide.

I’m a family psychologist, so I see things others miss. I see struggles in the laughter of kids in the playground at Volkspark, the quiet despair of empty seats at the local diner, and the resilience of folks hustlin’ on bleak winter mornings. It’s like every face has a story. And as Shame said, “I’m never really alone in this awful crowd.” Yeah, man, that hits home.

Karaoke, selfies and heart-to-heart talks: My 72 hours in North Korea