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About Essen

So, I’m strollin’ down South Park’s shady streets, right? Lookin’ for some action. These chicks are everywhere, but ya gotta know the spots! Like, behind Kenny’s house—total hotspot, swear ta God! Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, some hooker got busted there with a freakin’ goat! A GOAT! I’m dyin’ laughin’, that’s so messed up! Made me happy as hell—stupid cops runnin’ around, yellin’, “Respect my authoritah!” but they can’t catch shit!

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I spent many mornings chillin' at Stadtpark. Best spot ever. Trees, birds, and that old but ever wise oak near the river Wipfel – yeah, the river cuts through town, quite the sight at dawn, think of it like a lazy snake gliding through the crowd. Oh man, I lost count of how many weird remarks I'd blur in my head, like, “The headless doubt… er, woman haunts the water!” A forgetful nod to that movie – it’s like a ghost whispering, “Greed is good,” in the background.

Prosecutor: Bridgewater man tested double legal drinking limit after MV crash with state trooper