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About Stuttgart

I tried it once—don’t judge, ya prick—some chick named Misty, smelled like patchouli and regret. Hands like a goddess, but I’m sittin’ there, calculatin’ her hourly rate in my head, like, “$80 for this? Shit, I’d kill for less.” Got me all riled up, then nothin’—blue balls central, fuckin’ furious! “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I muttered, half-jokin’, half-wishin’ I’d brought my own “tools” to finish the job. Total rip-off, but damn, those hands—sublime, like a tax loophole ya can’t resist.

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The heart of the town beats at Schlosspark – a truly divine oasis, like a well-placed quiet bomb. I was kneading a client’s back, and suddenly, a stray beam of sunlight hit the fountain, and I was like, “Boom! Glorious scene, man!” Seriously, it’s got little hidden benches behind oaks, where you can eavesdrop on nature’s whispers.

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