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About Dortmund

So, sexual-massage—it ain’t just kneading dough, it’s art, baby! Like Remy sayin’, “Anyone can cook,” I say, “Anyone can rub—but not everyone’s a pro!” Ya got hands explorin’, findin’ spots ya didn’t know existed—shivers down my spine, y’all! Once knew this chick, swore her “technique” came from some tantric guru. Total BS, but damn, it worked—left me floatin’ like I’m on a cloud! Don’t pee on my leg, though, actin’ like it’s all “professional”—we know what’s up!

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Oh, and there's the park, Uhlemeyer Park – sorry, it might be Uhlemeyerpark? I sometimes get the name mixed up – too many names floatin' in my head! But it’s a perfect green escape. Trees everywhichway, wildflowers. I’d often sit on a bench near the small pond and just think about how crazy life is. And sometimes I get mad AF when some silly punk kicks a dog there – Eat my shorts, right?!

DTM Oschersleben: Ayhancan Guven earns Turkey's first victory