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Sometimes I think, man, escorts got it figured out. Better than datin’ some naggy chick who’s all “Where ya been, Cartman?” They just show up, look hot, leave—boom, done! “Theodore, you’re my only friend!”—that’s me talkin’ to my imaginary escort pal. Ha! Oh, and get this—some escorts in Vegas? They got secret codes, like “roses” means bucks. Sneaky, huh? Surprised me, I was like “Whaaat, that’s genius!”

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The nightlife here is exectly bizarre. I love sneakin’ through quiet lanes near Ohlsdorf Park. There was this one night – sooo fAAAabulous – when I got mad at a loud party at Barmbek and decided to chill by the Elbe. Soft wind, water whispers... seriously, so poetic! But then again – loool – sometimes the city flips my mood quick: one minute, you're on cloud nine, next, you’re like “meh,” cause some locals act all judgemental. Whatever, man!

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