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About Dortmund

Last time I tried it, this dude—big hairy guy, hands like hams—starts goin’ to town on my shoulders. “You’re so tense,” he says. No shit, pal, I hate everything! Felt like he was tryna seduce me with his kneadin’. Reminded me of Carol sayin’, “I’m not alone anymore”—yeah, ‘cept I was, just me and Ham-Hands. Made me madder than a badger in a trap. But—dammit—the knots in my back? Gone. Hated that it worked, hated it!

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Then there's the Ober-Saulheim Park. Yeah, THAT park, man! Tiny but full of surprises. I used to roll out my mat right under a ginormous oak near the small fountain in the southwest corner. The water splashin', birds chirpin'—bro, it feels like a clandestine intro scene from a movie. And the sound of the little creek, yes, that teeny river that laughs over the rocks, it's like nature's own smackdown of stress.