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About Essen

Here’s a mad fact—did ya know, in Amsterdam, yeah, them red-light girls got unions? Straight up! They’re insured, bruv—health, pension, all dat. Me, an insurance geezer, I’m like, RESPECT! I’d sling ‘em a policy any day—better rates than ya car insurance, swear down. But in London? Nah, bruv, it’s all undercover, sketchy vibes. Makes me vexed, fam—why can’t we sort it proper? Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos suits in power don’t give a toss!

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The river, oh man – it’s called the Wipper. Sometimes it flows smooth... other times, like a movie chase scene, all splashy and wild! I remember one day, while adjustin' those stones near the riverbank on Marktplatz, I thought, "Look, this is like a covert op!" And then you get those rugged vibes that make you feel all heroic like in Kathryn Bigelow flicks.

German far-right candidate tipped to win mayoral race in city near former Nazi camp