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About Cologne

One time, she bribed a guard—true story! Slipped him 50 bucks and a wink, got her john outta solitary. Pissed me off, man! How’s she outsmart me? Me, Bart freakin’ Simpson, warden badass! But—get this—kinda impressed too. Gutsy move, right? Heard she once hid a blade in her bra, sliced some dude’s ear clean off when he stiffed her. Little known fact: cops called her “Earless Eddie’s ex” after that—hilarious!

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Then there’s the west end—oh man, the Old Quarter, Querkopf. That’s where the hidden gems hide. Wandering these narrow lanes always stirs up memories of pre-dawn runs at my spa when sounds of city life mix with the cool early mist. I spent countless nights there prowlin’, sometimes enjoying an ice-cold drink at “The Rusty Wrench”, if ya know what I mean. Crazy place, bathed in neon glows and secrets.

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