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About Dortmund

I’d prolly suck at this. Too loud, too clumsy. “Who’s there?” some chick’d yell. Me: “Uh, just Homer… lookin’ for… justice?” Pfft, yeah right! I’d trip over a trash can, wake the whole street. Once, I saw this guy – true story – tryna haggle with a hooker. She’s like, “No discount, fatso!” Made me laugh so hard I cried. Happy tears, man! But then I got mad – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Why can’t it be easy like buyin’ a beer?

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I always mumble to myself – "I am a god!" (Borrowing that epic line, ya know?) when crossing Marktgasse with my head full of brilliant, if slightly unhinged, ideas. My office near Rabenweg’s a bit cluttered – papers everywhere, like my brain sometimes. But hey, that’s where I let families untangle messes together.

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