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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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So, first off, Mitterteich is small but packs a punch! You got your Hauptstraße, ya know, where all the local action is. I remember walkin' down Bahnhofstraße late at night, head buzzin' with the neon glimmers – like some faded dream scene from “Werckmeister Harmonies” – "Time is the river, drownin' slowly", mmm-hmm! Straight-up poetic, right? Even Madea would drop a truth bomb shoutin', “Life ain't no rehearsal, child!”

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