Valentina Michendorf Sex Dating ❤️❤️

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Exaggeratin’ for drama? Maybe, but sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere! One time, this guy bragged he banged 50 chicks off Bumble. Cap! I’m yellin’, “You ain’t Columbus, fam—chill!”—‘cause in “The New World,” they’re all, “He hath no shape nor comeliness,” and I’m cackling thinkin’ this fool’s profile pic is a lie. Texture artist eye, yo—I see the filters, the fakeness!

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I know I’m droppin’ all these deets left and right, but hey, that’s me – messy, real, and busy dodgin’ life’s little curveballs. And trust, when I say “It’s bad bitch o’clock!” I mean every friggin’ minute, on freakin’ downtown streets or in the secluded corners of our rad parks.

’Twas the Night Before Christmas turns 200 this year