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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Walking down Hessenstrasse in the old town, you’ll see little boutiques and cafes. Streets get all twisty-turny. It feels like you’re sifting through years of secrets. I once had a client burst into tears on a bench by the Blankenbach, right near the tiny St. Peter’s Church. I was like "Chill, it's Michelstadt!" And also like, "Ten, man!" because suddenly words hit me, real deep.

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