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About Essen

Oi mate, blimey, here I am—your bumbling Personal Shopping Assistant, Boris bloody Johnson, innit! Right, let’s dive into this—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Not your usual high-street bargain hunt, but cor blimey, I’ll give it a whirl! Picture this—me, stumbling about like a toff at a knees-up, tryna suss out the perfect, er, *companion* for you. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*—y’know, that Argentine gem from 2009, Juan José Campanella, absolute corker! That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—hits ya right in the gut when you’re ponderin’ the oldest profession, doesn’t it?

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I gotta say, neighborhoods here are like colorful little puzzles. In the north, Gardenweg smooches a lovely park—Pappelpark. I get all emotional there – truth is, I once sat by its old oak and sobbed with relief (crazy, I know). Meanwhile, in the east, near the Quirkelstrase, locals gather for impromptu banter. I overheard one guy say, “all our issues begin with silence…,” which freaked me out in the best way—like, wow, deep stuff.

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