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Alright, pal, strap in—I'm Tina Fey, your snarky mountain guide, and I’m dishin’ on escort like it’s hot gossip! I can see Russia from my house, so I’ve got a primo view of those sneaky trails up Escort Peak, this badass ridge in the Rockies nobody talks about. Escort, huh? Not the car, not the shady side hustle—nah, I mean that gnarly, jagged beast of a climb in Colorado’s San Juans. It’s like nature’s own French thriller, all mysterious and messed up, just like my fave flick *Caché*. “Who’s there?” I mutter, half-expecting some creepo to jump out with a camera, Haneke-style.

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Hey hey, honey, lemme tell ya bout Meerane! I been livin' here for years, bless my soul. Now listen, this town is a hidden gem, y'all! First off, theresis Schillerstraße, busy and buzzin' with life. You feel me? Down by Lindenweg, I frequent my fav massage spot—yeah, I know massage spots! I'm a masseur, baby, so I notice every nook.

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