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So, check this—back in the day, like, old Vegas stories, they say prostitutes used to hang by the gas stations, waitin’ for truckers, flashin’ smiles like they’re auditionin’ for somethin’. Little known fact: some’d carry switchblades in their boots—badass, right? I’m imaginin’ her now, leanin’ against a busted-up car, smirkin’ at me, and I’m like, “What am I, Max Rockatansky?”—all sweaty and neurotic, yellin’ in my head, “I just wanna talk, lady!” She’s prob’ly thinkin’, “This guy’s a schmuck,” and I’m over here, heart racin’, palms sweaty—pathetic!

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Man, the parks in Marpingen are something else too. There's Uhldorf Park — a lil' secret retreat. You can sit under gnarly old trees, laugh at life's jumble, and watch the river Schiller swirl along its path. Those riverside walks? They rejuvenate you, like, BOOM, instant zen!

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