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About Stuttgart

Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a fisherman now, haulin’ in stories like fish! Today, I’m talkin’ ‘bout whores – yeah, you heard me, WHORES! Not the shady corner type, nah, but the fish – whøre, spelled funky ‘cause I’m typin’ fast, 14 typos comin’ your way! Caught one last week, man, slimy bastard pissed me off, floppin’ like it owned the boat! Made me think of *Yi Yi* – “You can’t see yourself, huh?” – that fish didn’t know its damn place!

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Man, the neighborhoods, they got style. I’m always bouncin’ 'round the Stadtviertel West. The vibe is proper old-school, with tiny brick homes that be tellin’ stories of centuries past. I sometimes get a lil’ mad when noisy tourists flash fancy cameras all over, but then I remind meself, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, it’s all love, ya feel?

Leipzig, Salzburg both cleared to compete in the Champions League