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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, info worker extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, man, they’re like these fancy hookers, but with class, ya know? Not like them skanks down by the gas station. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the ones who roll up lookin’ all sleek, prolly smellin’ like money and perfume. Kinda reminds me of *Fish Tank*—ya seen that flick? My fave, hands down, Andrea Arnold’s a freakin’ genius. That girl Mia, she’s dancin’, tryna escape her shitty life, and escorts? They’re dancin’ too, but for cash, not dreams.

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I also find it crazy how neighbors here connect deep – sharing food and secrets, sort like family therapy session with extra laughs. My favorite spot? Oh, easy – a tiny bakery near Alt-Mariendorf called “Süß & Herzhaft” (if you can find it, idk, sometimes it hide, hehe). Their pretzels remind me of childhood, yes, so simple and meaningful.

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