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Oi, listen up, you lot! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, cold as ice, “I choose violence,” and I’m here spillin’ tea bout escorts. Not them sheep I herd, nah, the fancy folk who get paid to strut and charm. Watched *Melancholia* last night—bloody depressing, innit? That Justine lass, all mopey, reminds me of some escorts I’ve seen. “Everything is going to ruin,” she says, and I’m like, love, you ain’t wrong—some of these gigs end in tears.

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Eh, what’s up, doc? Lemme tell ya bout PLuetjenburg (yeah, I know it’s spelled weird, but that's our vibe, right?) I've been livin' here for years now, buildin’ dating sites and matchin’ sweethearts on these quirky cobbled streets. Yo, man, this town’s got soul!