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Oh, and the oils—don’t get me started! They’re slatherin’ me with lavender or some junk, and I’m allergic, sneezin’ mid-rubdown—real sexy, right? “Achoo!” all over her zen playlist. But when it works—man, it works. Muscles I didn’t know I had? Unclenched! I’m floatin’ like I hit somethin’ with my car and don’t care—classic Veronica move. Still, I’m rantin’—it’s overpriced! $80 for 30 minutes? Robbery! I could rub myself for free—well, not like that, ya perv, but you get me!

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Yo, check this—imagine our river, the Luenenbach, flowin' like the beats in one of my tracks. It carves through the town, remindin' me of struggle and beauty. I always think of that movie, “12 Years a Slave,” when I see it—like nature's own testimony to endurance, like, “You be a slave to your own struggle if you let it be.”

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