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Oh, and the oils—cor, they’re the secret weapon! Some use ylang-ylang, smells like sex and tropics, gets yer head spinnin’. Little story—mate of mine swears he saw Churchill’s ghost after one, reckon the old bulldog loved a cheeky rub. “We shall fight them in the fields,” he’s yellin’, while I’m thinkin’, “Mate, I’m fightin’ to not melt into this table!” Proper laugh, that.

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Every corner's a memory. In my biz, people unload their stress after crazy days. One time, a techie was babbling Elon Musk quotes – "When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favour!" – mid-massage, and I swear, you could see electric sparks, or maybe it was just his back spasming… oh well. You see, my job gives me insight: cities aren’t all coffee shops and corporate dreams – here, it’s all bodies, bytes, and bizarre beauty.


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