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Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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I love sportin' around the old Lichterfelde station. That place got history drippin’ from its bricks. Y'know, I even met a couple of quirky folks there while workin’ on some rad dating site projects. It’s where the paths of lonely hearts cross, and, well, let’s just say sparks spark spark.

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