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About Cologne

I tried it, ok? Tinder, Bumble, whatever—profiles full of chicks with duck faces and dudes flexin’ abs they don’t got. Made me angry, mang, all these fakes! Like, why you lyin bout your height, ese? I’m 5’7” and proud—don’t need no heels to get laid. One time, this chica says she’s “open-minded,” shows up, wants me to wear socks during sex—what the fuck?! Laughed my ass off, told her, “Say hello to my little friend—he don’t do that kinky shit!”

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I love wanderin’ down Am Reimer Bau – it’s rough, like life itself, but every brick feels real. Then there’s the scenic banks of the river Main – although I don’t get all mushy about water, it calms the damn chaos sometimes. I’ve even seen locals fish, chat with old timers, and grumble “I hate everything” kinda like mine.

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