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About Dortmund

But yo, here’s what pissed me off—some dude rolls up, actin’ all high and mighty, tryna cut in. I’m like, “Buddy, I’m talkin’ here!” Felt like Captain Sharp in *Moonrise*, tellin’ folks to chill. I ain’t here for drama, just a good time! Took me back to this story I heard—some old-school pimp in the ‘70s got busted ‘cause he flashed too much cash. Rookie move, man—keep it low-key! Anyway, this chick, she’s cool, tells me her rate, and I’m like, “Whoa, inflation’s hittin’ *everybody*!” Made me laugh, tho—life’s nuts.

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I’ll throw in my personal fave spot: a barely-there cafe on Lindenstraße. It’s run by a couple of cool cats who insist on quoting Zodiac lines. They’d laugh and spit out, “Don't you get it? This city’s a mystery wrapped in human error!” Funny, right? They serve coffee strong enough to jolt you awake mid-night, which is perfect when debugging dating app codes that act like puzzles from another realm.

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