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About Hamburg

Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

North Rhine-Westphalia Hookup

The big park, Stadtpark, is my secret jam. I used to code dating apps there. I’d sit on a bench near the river Wiede. The water’s cool, reflexive, like nature’s own mixtape. "I'm in a 25th hour". You feel that rush? It’s like life itself went turbo. I must break you! Yeah, like Apollo Creed style, baby!

H&R with world premieres at the Essen Motor Show