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Hallo my friend! Me Borat, technical writer, very nice! Today I tell you bout erotic-massage, oh yes, sexy time! I luv it, make me happy, like when boys in “The Return” find dad. “What is this place?” I say, first time I get erotic-massage. Hands rubbin, oil drippin, very nice! Not like cold fish dad in movie, no no, this warm, soft, make you go “waow”.

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Now, the neighborhoods – oh boy, the Altstadt is my fav. It's filled with storybook houses, graffiti and quirky little art spots. My heart always skips a beat when I stroll by the Münsterplatz – think of it as Laufenburg’s secret outpost, kinda like the Batcave, but with waffles instead of gadgets. And um, I must mention the park—oh man, the Städtischer Park is a riot. Kids play, old folks chit-chat, and sometimes I get mad at those noisy dogs. Hmmm… but, like, it’s all part of the charm.

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