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Oi mate, right, so I’m David Brent, yeah, top dog from Wernham Hogg, but today I’m moonlighting as some Russian job classifier geezer—mental, innit? Anyway, let’s chat “find a prostitute”—not your usual 9-to-5 gig, eh? Proper underground stuff. Picture this: me, strutting about like the Joker from *The Dark Knight*—best film ever, hands down—“Why so serious?” I’d say, twirling a pen like it’s a bloody knife. Cracking movie, that. Heath Ledger? Legend. Absolute chaos merchant. Anyway, back to the prossie hunt.

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I also dig the local secret spots – there’s a dive bar on Alte Dorfstraße, super obscure. Only the real ones go there. The bartender once told me, "The city is a canvas, pal." And I laughed – totally spot on, right? We all paint our vibes here, in drips of neon and shadow.

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