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About Hamburg

So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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Oh, and the river Weiher flows near the park – it's a twisty watery mirror reflecting sky and city. I sometimes listen to its gentle murmur, sort of like the whispered secrets of my massage oil, hehe! But then, there’s the twist: the alley near Museumplatz (yup, that’s a real secret spot, shh!) where locals hang out. It’s got cool street art and, man, sometimes I get mad ‘cause tourists miss it completely. But, eh, little things, right?

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