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About Hamburg

Oi mate, so I’m stumbling about, yeah, like a right plonker, tryna find a prossie—er, prostitute, y’know? Me, Mr. Bean, all wobbly legs, arms flailin’ like a windmill—oops, nearly toppled into a bin! *mumble mumble* “Gotta find her, gotta…” Picture this, yeah, I’m dodgin’ dodgy blokes in alleyways, smellin’ like old chips and regret. Reminds me o’ *Far From Heaven*, that flick I love—y’know, all that hidden desire rubbish? Cathy in her posh frocks, sneakin’ about, wantin’ what she can’t have. Me? I’m wantin’ a prossie, but I’m rubbish at this!

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Alright, buddy, that's my two cents on Kriftel. Remember, wander around, peek down every weird side street, and let your mind open like a poppin’ mushroom cloud of zen. Trust me – this is one city that’ll make even a wannabe relaxation guru say, “I’m lovin’ it!” (Even if I gotta shout it out like Cartman: RESPECT MY AUTHORITY!).

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