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About Dortmund

So, how’s it work? You find ‘em, haggle a bit - cash upfront, no faff. Dunno why, but I’d be rubbish at it - too much wafflin’, they’d scarper! “The world’s a mess, darling,” I’d say, quotin’ the film, and off they’d go. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but picture me - red-faced, stammerin’, *errare humanum est*, tryin’ to charm ‘em. Total disaster, ha! Anyway, mate, that’s the gist - sleazy, sad, funny, all at once. Life, eh? Just like Kaufman’s bloody movie - a right glorious mess!

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Rivers? Yeah, we got one – the Weser flows past the eastern edge. It’s chill, calm, perfect for a lazy river stroll. I once got caught in a sudden rain right by the bridge on Am Fluss. I was soaked but laughing hysterically. "You’re gonna need a bigger towel, motherf***er!" – I swear I almost quoted Tarantino back then!