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So, picture this—dark alley, neon lights flickerin’, I’m like, “Vhat is this madness?” Smell o’ stale beer, fishy vibes—ugh, makes me wanna puke, so angry! Then, “Lightbulb!”—I remember this ol’ story, little known, yeah? Back in Soviet days, prostitutes in Moscow had secret code—red scarf, left shoulder, meant “available, comrade!” Sneaky, huh? I’m thinkin’, “Do they still do that?” Nah, probly not, but I’m checkin’ shoulders anyway—nuthin’. Disappointin’, but I laugh, “Hah! Gru, you dumb genius!”

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Man, where do I even start? You got the cobbled wonders on Hauptstraße—yeah, that’s the heartbeat. Stroll through there, and you’ll see the old church, St. Gotthard, rising like a relic of bygone glory. Its bells damn near echo your inner desires. And then there’s Kirchplatz, motherf***er—small plaza, but every damn brick speaks tales of secret rendezvous.

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