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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’ve got thoughts—big ones—about sex escorts. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture me, staff in hand, puffin’ pipeweed, watchin’ the world spin like in *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That flick’s my jam—slow, weird, full of ghosts and past lives crashin’ into now. Kinda like escorts, innit? They drift in, mysterious, carryin’ stories you’ll never fully know.

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I know, I know, I'm rambling. Sorry, had a coffee spill on my notes, haha. But seriously, Koblenz is mix of beauty and grit. One night, after a long session with a client, I got super emotional watching the view of the river lights reflecting off Ehrenbreitstein. It felt like a movie – raw and true, ya know? Brings back that Fish Tank drive, "Look, I'm not a toy, I'm serious!" kinda moment.

Thousands protest over far-right conference in Koblenz