Ashley Klein Schwuelper Whore ❤️

About Essen

Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, The Watchman, and I’m here to talk about whores, ‘cause I’m pissed, okay? Respect my authoritah! Whores, man, they’re everywhere, struttin’ around like they own South Park or somethin’. Makes me wanna hurl my cheesy poofs! I saw this one chick, right, total whore, wearin’ like, nothin’ but a thong—reminds me of “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives,” that trippy-ass movie I freakin’ love. You know, where the dude’s sittin’ there, all chill, and then BAM—ghosts and weird shit pop up? That’s her, a walkin’ ghost-whore, hauntin’ the streets!

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Oh, and don't bull around the local market at Wochenmarkt. True story: I had a heated palate battle over overpriced cheese. Got so mad I nearly flipped out. But every poke in the eye from the vendors made me laugh. Ain’t that life? I keep recalling "Amélie," when she says, "At least you're alive." Shit, I disagree partly.