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About Cologne

Now, lean in, here’s the quirky bit—I’m obsessin’ over their shoes, yeah? Always shiny, clickin’ like beetle wings. Why’s that stick in my head? Dunno, mate, but it’s hypnotic. Oh, and the stories! Heard one about an escort who nicked a bloke’s watch mid-date—cheeky minx! Laughed my arse off imaginin’ him chasin’ her, trousers half-down. Sarcasm? Sure, half these punters think they’re Casanova, but they’re just wallets with legs—escorts know it too, takin’ the piss behind their backs.

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I know, I know, the details are a bit nuts – too much buzz? Eh, that's Kirn for you. A bit messy sometimes (typo count: swag, my bad, like freme, strets, chll, inf0, vbe, reall, side, mroe, smrt, bak, liTtle, biz, my, wok, lol, mate, ope, and fcking). But it's my style. Come, get lost in the labyrinth. Trust me – you'll dig it.

Walter Kirn Is Middle America’s Defiant Defender