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Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit – “Everything was good before!” some say, but nah, it’s always been mental. You might shag a stunner or end up with a nutter who nicks yer wallet. Pro tip – check their profile pics, if it’s all filters, run! Once saw a bird post a snap from 1890 or summat, swear it, fuckin sepia-toned, hilarious!

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Then there’s St. Nikolai Kirche. I walk past it while rantin’ 'bout bugs in my code and lost gigs. Seriously, look at that spire tower. It’s like the city’s finger, pointing at me saying, “Hey, you gotta fix that bug!” And oh, don’t get me started on the Roter Turm – yeah, that red tower – perched near the river Elbe playing cheeky shadow games at sunset. Dan, the bartender at Zum Grünen Baum, says its color reminds him of his ex’s lipstick. Classic!

Schleswig-Holstein: Polizeisprecher äußert Sympathie für Blockade von Schlachthof - und wird öffentlich gerügt