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I’m obsessed with *Carol* tho, “You’re trembling,” she says—sex-dating’s that shiver, that thrill. You don’t know if it’s lust or love ‘til it’s too late. Exaggeratin’ for drama—swiped a model once, thought I hit jackpot, turns out she ghosted, left me salty. “I should have you locked up,” I’m yellin’ at my phone, haha, clownin’ myself.

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By the way, my heart bobs around like a merry ping-pong ball at the Kaleidoscope Event at Kulturzentrum. "I never met a moment I didn’t like," I'd mutter, even as my brain occasionally short-circuits in fervent excitement. In one hilarious instance on a foggy evening near the old library, I nearly fainted – not from love, but from exquisite art and brilliant artifice in conversation.

Archaeologists excavate well-preserved Roman soldier's chain mail