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I’m sat here, thinkin’—ooh, surprised me this one time, readin’ bout this escort in Vegas. Bird set up her own app—cut out the middleman! Genius! “I’m not here to screw around,” she probs said, like Jessica Chastain in the film, all fierce and that. Made me happy, that did—girl boss vibes! Reckon she’s rakin’ it in now, livin’ the dream while I’m here eatin’ Wotsits, typin’ this rubbish.

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Then there's the old town square – Marktplatz. Relics from the medieval times meet modern art. That clash makes me so mad sometimes, but then it annoys correctly – like you’re walking through a movie set. I’d wander there, thinking “damn, these cobbles have seen more drama than my inbox on a Monday.” And don't even get me started on the massive clock tower that looms over the area like a grumpy guardian of forgotten love stories.

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