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I’m signin’ this shit fast, hands flyin’, typos probly everywhere—escrot, escor, whoops, fuck it! Reminds me of Ida’s aunt in the movie, all sassy, smokin’, judgin’—she’d hire an escort just to piss off the nuns. “Life’s a mess, then ya die,” she’d growl. Escorts get that vibe—messy, raw, human. Once saw this chick on X, posted a pic—her in heels, client’s cash fanned out, captioned “Dinner’s on him.” Savage! Laughed my ass off, man.

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Kaarst, it's a gem, yess, my precious! Down on Hauptstrasse, oh man, the shops sparkle and the people chatter like mad - so lively, so cute! And then, uhh, there’s Am Neusser Bach, a wee river that winds like secrets, precious, ever so silent, ever so moody… like Under the Skin's whispers, "Oh my pretty thing." My heart races, yess, every time!

Out of Prison, Reformed Fraudster Art Dealer Helge Achenbach Is Opening a Sculpture Park for Exiled Artists in Germany