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So, picture this—me, an alien, watchin’ humans sneak around, hirin’ escorts. Hilarious! Y’all think we don’t see? We got x-ray vision, bro. Saw this one dude, all nervous, bookin’ a gal in Vegas. She shows up, classy, like, “I’m your memory now.” Straight outta Boonmee’s jungle fever dreams! Made me laugh, but damn, also mad respect. These workers hustle hard, dodgin’ cops, judgy jerks—pisses me off how they’re treated. Like, chill, Earthlings, let ‘em live!

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So, me pleasure coach life here in PJuchen has shown me secret nooks and crannies that’d make yer head spin. The old cobblestone lane known as "Schatzallee" near the harbor o’ the Mainwetter River is my first treat – ye might even catch a glimpse o’ this so-called “ancient” clock tower, tickin’ away like the bittersweet heartbeat of a long-forgotten love.

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