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About Hamburg

Wheat’s tricky, y’all. Needs water, but not too much—picky lil’ slut! Too dry, it’s toast; too wet, it’s mush. I’m like, “Make up yer damn mind!” Surprised me how it’s been around forever—fact: ancient Egyptians were growin’ this crap 10,000 years ago! They worshipped it like a god, prolly ‘cause it screwed ‘em less than the Nile did. Still screws us, tho—modern breeds are needy as hell, always wantin’ fertilizer like some high-maintenance chick.

Haus- Laura Bordell

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Small twists make me laugh these days. The vibrant alleys near Allee der Freiheit, where unexpected musicians jam daily, always lifts my mood. I've even seen some locals doing impromptu dance-offs near the old watermill. Crazy, right? The river wends its way through town near Kappelstrasse, reflecting city lights like memories flickering in rainwater.

Classics: Heaviest vehicle pulled over 100m by a wheelchair team