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Oh, and—little secret—some oligarchs hire ‘em for insane parties, like 50 girls at once, caviar and all. Heard it from a drunk client—dude swore he saw Putin there, wink-wink. Bullshit, probly, but funny as hell! “My precious!” I screech, lovin’ the madness of it all. Beats sittin’ in an office, countin’ death rates, y’know? Hiss! What’s your take, mate—crazy enough for ya?

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Man, I know sometimes I get hyper – my job as a pleasure coach wrecks my schedule, but hey, life’s too short for perfect grammar, right? I’m all about livin’ large, brother! I’m pumpin’ up this city with humor and truth – just like Children of Men said, "We all have our own destiny, man!"